During birth, mother and child are in a connection with each other. Both have their own active contribution to the process and orient themselves to each other. For a variety of reasons, situations can arise during childbirth that interrupt the process either partially or completely. Modern medicine has aids that provide vital safety. Mother and child can sometimes get stuck in these interruptions, the process does not come to a conclusion and the (bonding) can thus be weakened.
The mother-child bath is a simple exercise that is accessible to everyone. Midwives Sonia Rochel and Brigitte Meissner developed and popularized the bonding bath. Parents are welcome to prepare the bath themselves or accompanied by their midwife or doula, who can bring a neutral and unbiased perspective and point out potential patterns. However, the bath can also take place in a therapeutic setting. This is advisable in the case of difficult birth experiences or early separations, as the process often exceeds the scope of counseling and requires professional accompaniment.
WHEN CAN THE MOTHER-CHILD SUPPORT BATH?
In case of a difficult, strenuous or disappointing birth
the bond between mother and her Baby is noticeably less or partially absent
the baby cries more often
After cesarean section birth or suction bells/forceps birth
The baby bath is a good support for everyone, if the beginning was difficult or stressful, if the mom or both parents have the feeling that something "important" failed to happen during or shortly after the birth and wish to have a new arrival with the baby at home, completely on their own. In the bath, baby stresses (due to difficult birth experiences or early separations) can be absorbed. The woman can also take an active role in this and often finds it just as comforting.
COURSE OF THE BINDING BATH
Each mother-child bath is individual and different. In each bath, different aspects and dynamics are in the foreground. This observation confirms me more and more in what kind of intense relationship mother and child are already in during the birth and also in the first weeks and months after.
Sometimes, during the bath, feelings and reactions can arise that require attentive and appreciative accompaniment, as well as good containment on the part of the accompanist. It is important to provide a protected environment in order to recognize the patterns that have developed as a result of an unresolved situation and to be able to bring them to a conclusion through bonding and some creativity.
In some cases, the baby bath can lead to repetition of situations for which renegotiation would be more important through the mother-child bath. For example, when the woman who could not hold or have her baby with her after the birth (usually cesarean) watches the baby bath and then has her baby bathed and placed on her chest by another person. Thus, for the second time, she was not there. The experience was reproduced. Thus, women usually experience the baby bath as not satisfying.
When the bath succeeds in making room for the bond between the mother and the baby, and in walking both of them through what may emerge, it is especially valuable. The child can co-regulate and orient to his mother. For the mother, it is sometimes important to understand how her child felt at birth and how she can support him in this new situation. What was seen can thus be renegotiated and the event healed for both parties.
What do my clients report after the mother-child bath?
“I had a traumatic C-section with my first child. Our bond was broken. After the birth of my second child, I realized that neither I nor my first child had processed the trauma. I blamed myself for having another C-section. Despite working through it therapeutically, I still lacked a reconciliatory closure with myself and my child to finally let go of the past with a good feeling.
And this is where the bonding bath came in. I was a little skeptical, but it was the best thing that could have happened to me. It was exactly what we needed and what had been missing for so long. It was very emotional and yet so simple." M., Mom
"My little one cried through days and nights, had tremendous body tension and over-extended himself. Zuzana helped me understand through the healing bath that we were both still emotionally stuck in the birth phase, which was tough. As we started the bath, he kept pushing himself up from the floor, just like the last few days. I gently pushed him back into the water as we did so. She encouraged me to perceive that we were both reenacting the birth. Afterwards, my little one looked at me like he hadn't in ages. It was a huge gift. Since the bath, we've both been sleeping a lot better and his body tension has been decreasing as well." Daniela, Mom
"Six months after my son was born, I still couldn't get over it. I blamed myself and felt like I couldn't be there 100% for my son. When Zuzana recommended the bonding bath to me, I was very open. I had already heard about it, but I lacked the final push. So I prepared a wonderful baby bath for both of us. It feels like everything is being cleaned up inside. It was an intense experience! I was able to untie this knot that had been trapping me for months." L., Mom
"I was also supported afterwards to better cope with the early birth and the difficulties that came with it. Zuzana prepared a herbal and healing bath for us. It was a beautiful experience which helped me bring my daughter and I even closer together!" Patricia, mom